Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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