Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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