where am i from again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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