Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize