i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
