she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
