im drinking this country out of the recession.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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