he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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