She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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