when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
