Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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