my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
