and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize