Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
