Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
