Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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