If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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