do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize