He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
