I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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