I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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