What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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