Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
