When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
