You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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