Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
