I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to sanitize my soul.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
