he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
