Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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