my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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