Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
