when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you would pick up someone in the library
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
