you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
