Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to walk on stilts...naked
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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