WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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