Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
