I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
