last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
