life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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