Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
