somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Drake has all the answers
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
