.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
