in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am naked and annoyed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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