I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
