she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize