It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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