Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i think im in europe. pls send help
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize