Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
