Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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