She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize