At least make sure they are 18
Why
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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