I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
