i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize