got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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