would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i've created a new STD.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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