I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
