Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
