I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
how drunk are you?
Several
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
