Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
