Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
someone owes me an orgasm
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
