Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
