Dual....:-)
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
